‘Do it Like a Dude’ is an anonymous blog written about dating and single life in 2019 as a 30’s woman who is fed up of waiting for the one AND being good whilst doing it. If she’s not going to meet the love of her life just now she may as well have fun waiting instead of counting up all the should haves of her twenties…After all women hit sexual peak in their thirties don’t they…?! It just wouldn’t be fair to waste that on a vibrator 😉
Let’s Do it Like a Dude…
I have been on plenty of dates throughout my twenties but I have never enjoyed dating. At the tender age of 31 (okay 32 next month), I have finally realised why. Every single time I have been on a date or even started chatting/flirting to a member of the opposite sex, I have practically had us married off even before my Spanx have had the chance to roll down my muffin top. I have approached most areas of my life with the motto that you should live in the now and enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination blah blah blah. But, I haven’t applied that to my love life. And what do you know…My career – amazing. Finances – great. Family – perfect. Friends – the best of the best. Love life….absolutely shite.
This is where that changes. I literally have nothing to lose. I have just ended another shitty relationship with an idiot I was settling for. I have no desire to rush into finding another man child that drains the life out of me. I just want the good bits. The fun. The excitement. The part that we as women miss out on enjoying because we are analysing every move of the other person in a bid to see whether they are ‘the one’… Insert rolling eye emoji here please! We are completely missing the moments while doing this. Yeah the guy may end up being a complete twat and it may be the date from hell but looking back on the shitty dates I had I actually have some of the funniest stories.
So hit me with the dates. The funny shitty ones. The good ones that don’t go anywhere. The slutty ones…I want them all! And to fully commit to this I have decided in a completely PC way that I’m going to do it like a dude. I am not being sexist here. I have grown up with brothers and boy cousins and always had boy mates before girl mates. I love the male species – they just have a different way of dealing with things and my god it’s refreshing. It doesn’t take a situation and turn it into something else in a milli second with no warning. It sees things in black and white when they are black and white. Like wise, I’m not against women and their complicated minds. I am one and good god I have one. We’re amazing. But amazing comes at a cost and from my very extensive research (me and all my friends…!) it’s safe to say we can over complicate. Take sex for example…why can’t it just be sex? This isn’t our fault. We have been raised in a society that tells us we must wait at least three dates to have sex with a man if we ever hope to find a husband…What the actual fuck?? Men sleep with various women and they are given praise and a back slap. We sleep with various men and we believe we will be given a hoe bag reputation, a chlamydia test kit and a sign saying ‘Don’t Marry Me’. My new dating/love life outlook includes having sex when I want sex. Unashamedly and like a man.
So that’s it – not overly exciting but a bit of fun. Possibly just like the dates I’m going to go on. I have no rules with my little dating project (Except to rubber up…safe sex kids!).
Sneak preview into my first subject/victim/object of affection (delete depending on how you feel about me right now….) – we did not meet on a dating app. Some good old fashion face to face flirting and good god it’s so cheesy it could be the start of a 90’s porno.
Till then date safe!